On Sunday I went on another #sensitivewalk and saw this breathtaking clearing of the Willamette through the trees of this heavenly Spanish chateau. I decided to lay a Pendleton blanket down in the yard to take some photos for my scrapbook. I even waved to the homeowners as I got out my Bryan Adams playlist and 4-pack of wine coolers. Three of those wine coolers were eventually confiscated as I was placed into a squad car 15 minutes later.
Had a great time in Bend over the weekend. This was definitely the best photo from the trip. #frienderbender
"UGHH….GEEZ I CAN’T JUST SMELL YOU I CAN TASTE YOU!!!" Cool Water, still a crowd pleaser. Well done #Nemoween. (at Nemo Design)
I generally hate a sappy sad sad post, but my parents had to put Bruno to sleep yesterday. I promised him a final tribute ‘gram. I will miss his round head and cocky demeanor. RIP little buddy. #englishbulldog
Yowzas, I haven’t Texagon’d in a while.
Blame me having to move, me having to travel, and me being so distracted by the greatness of flushable wet wipes. It seems like it took me a good month to get everything finalized and situated in my new apt in the SE, which was easily the most brutal move I’ve ever endured. Call me stupid for not realizing my two full, walk-in closets in my apt in the NW were not going to fit in my 6ft by 2ft closet in my new spot, but practical thinking has never really been my forté – except when it comes to using flushable wet wipes of course. In light of those I’ve never been so good at doing something so practical.
Anyway, I won’t go on a long schpeel (a word?) about my current life situation, but I did want to drop by and show a pulse to my two readers: my Mom at work and my Mom at home. I’m writing right now with a half-buzzed beard because my clipper battery just died. It is currently charging and who knows if I can finish the job tonight. Luckily I work at total bro-fest design firm where I can show up in overalls with a hockey mask if I so choose to. I dressed like a woman one day and it was actually celebrated by HR.
Fall in Portland has begun. Well, technically fall everywhere in North America has begun (is this factually correct) but it’s gravely apparent when fall begins here. You know this because everyones’ skin tone turns the equivalent of provolone cheese and all those neon RVCA tank tops are swapped out for tombstone-colored Patagonia down jackets. It’s nice to wear some different clothes for a little bit, but I did say a little bit. Meaning like a month or two, not nine of them…but what are you gonna do. I’m here and I guess I will deal with it until Jeff reaches his breaking point and finally fires my arse for whistling too flamboyantly again during a critical conference call. After that I would sell all my crap that doesn’t fit into this closet anyway and skip off to the Caribbean to open a touristy t-shirt shop and put life on cruise control.
I’ve thought about this, those tourist apparel shops must make a killing because they’re fairly cheap and always in a prime shopping location. Do you have any idea how terribly designed 99.9% of all those tees and hoodies are? I will tell you, they’re terrible. Imagine if a human who has design skills started making tourist tees that actually look good for the same price. Suddenly that tourist shop wouldn’t be cliché, but legitimately fashionable.
I’d call the store “Blade’s Tees & Tacos”. Except I wouldn’t sell any tacos at all, it’d just be a front to sell flushable wet wipes at the counter so that everyone that came in looking for tacos would be like, “Dang man, I came here for tacos, but before I actually get some I better stock up on these flushable wet wipes just to make sure I’m prepared…Oh and look at all these excellently designed t-shirts!”
coming to you live, post-shower in front of my inadequate closet of Portland flannel.
Got asked to design a flag with a “Portland theme” for the Art Takeover event sponsored by Factory North and the Timbers Army. Fair enough, stay safe Portland cyclists. (at Nemo Design)
Listen up peeps. My fellow dude @stuctaylor and I are throwing a rad contest for our second installment of #2DudesAndaGame. It starts a week from today on Aug 1, so be on the lookout for how you can win a giant sign of your face at the UCLA/Nebraska game in Lincoln this year. #botoxmeetscornstalks
Video of a video, with a surprisingly blurry twist at the end. w/ @chadhughes (at Ice Axe Grill)
Blake’s Top 10 Worst Items To Get At The Grocery Store
I admit I’ve made more posts about my Safeway endeavors on this blog than I ever thought possible (here, here, here, here, and here). It’s no secret I’ve had somewhat of a love/hate relationship with that place. I can’t deny though that it’s been mostly love, as you can’t beat a 4 block walk to a pretty clean grocery store whenever you want. So convenient, yet so full of clueless humans blowing it at the self checkout, but that’s a topic for another day.
A week or two ago I ran out of something and thought, “aww man, not again. Don’t tell me it’s time to buy more of those at the store already.” And then I inevitably put off buying that item until I absolutely can’t exist without it anymore. Usually it’s when I start having to use paper towels because I’m out of toilet paper (kidding, kind of).
Then I thought, I wonder what my top 10 most hated items to have to replenish at the grocery store actually are. I could think of a few off the top of my head, but a full top 10 list would need a little thought. So what did I do? I sat down, listed my official nemesis grocery store list, and put them in order with the reasons for why each item is more likely to make me stay at home and watch another episode of Million Dollar Listing than go out and grab more of them.
Lettuce is a real piece of work. I cook tacos a lot. Like, once a week a lot. And I always buy the bagged lettuce because I don’t know, it’s just easier. I swear every time I turn around to grab the lettuce for taco night, half the bag of lettuce is brown. What am I going to do? Eat tacos with just meat and shredded cheese? I’m basically forced to buy new lettuce every week just so I can have a reasonable taco night. #10 for you, lettuce.
9. Flushable Wet Wipes
I’ll spare the deets here, but I’m a huge fan of these things and I’ve gotta start owning it. Frankly, I don’t know why I didn’t continue using these straight from childbirth. One problem: they’re a slightly awkward item to be standing next to in the check out line. I try to never go on a small grocery run to grab them or they stick out like a sore thumb. You kinda want to bury them under your bags of apples if possible.
I like cereal a lot, and eat it for breakfast probably 3-4 times a week. That is precisely why it’s a beating to go to the store for this as often as I have to. It’s like I’m not starting my week right if I don’t make sure to have a full box of honey almond whatever in the pantry for Monday morning. Add in the fact that it’s an awkward shape and takes me half an hour to pick out a new one to try, and you get cereal being #8 on this list.
7. Trash Bags
I put trash bags on this list because it’s one of those items that you have to grab more of pretty quick when you run out, and because I swear I’m somehow incapable of grabbing the correct bags that I need to fit my trash can. I go in the store and stare at all the boxes of trash bags and you’ve got small bags, medium bags, medium kitchen bags, medium tie-off bags, large bags, large bags with stretch capability. So I get nervous and just grab some medium-sized bags thinking, “oh geez I hope these will work.” And sure enough, every time they’re like half the volume of my trash can!!!
Curse bread. I can’t stop eating it, so I’m always back for more. If you make sandwiches or toast often, there’s no way around the fact you’ve got to have some bread around. Bread is so high maintenance. It’s like you have to compartmentalize your grocery bag with cereal boxes and other grains just to give it protective walls. Don’t get cocky and place it next to your bananas or apples, or you’re gonna have one sad, warped loaf of whole grain bread when you get home.
Happy 20th anniversary to my Dad and Shari. Here they are about two decades ago after I told them I accidentally recorded South Park over a sacred family VHS tape. #cleantheporchwithatoothbrush
Happy 26th to my sister Emily today. Here she is doing what she does best - forcing Dad to be the DD while she throws back another Riesling.
In the tunnel before the home opener in ‘05. I was nervous because I had misplaced my lip gloss and thought everyone would notice something wasn’t right. #tuesdayselfie #MericasTeam